For many people, I am a successful regional in-charge of a leading company. People think “Wow, this guy is always on the move, one day he is in Indore, the other in Goa and next time somewhere in a remote village of Maharashtra”. Doesn’t that sound exciting? For many of those, office bound friends of mine, this may seem a dream profile, wherein you travel so frequently, see so many new places and what not…. It was exciting for me, when I joined too.
I thought wow (again), now I will have so much to write about. In my first trip, I did so very religiously and also published it. Yes I had frequent updates on my google status and people use to wonder, what a guy, he has a job which is so dynamic. They were right, there was some dynamism in my life but slowly it become monotonous. I never wrote anything after my first trip. I didn’t even bother to update my google status. Frankly speaking, I never felt the shortage of time; in fact I had ample time to write but never had the motivation to pursue it forward. It was like nightmare for me. Every tour I began, I would feel like crying and saying why couldn’t it get cancelled? Why do I have to do this? Why can’t we do it over the phone?.....there were no answers. Every time I had drag my feet outside my home comforts and move towards the discomforts of a train or bus. And my bad luck or my frustration, whatever time I moved out, I always felt “WTF..such an odd time to have a train schedule or bus schedule” and the second thought “Why do I have to catch an early morning flight from Santacruz or an early morning train or a late night train from Mumbai Central?” (for the readers – I live in Nerul, Navi Mumbai) Why the hell are these Departure points so far from my house?
But once I board the flight or train or bus, things would come back to normalcy and then I could concentrate on my work. Still I never had the mood to pursue anything extra towards self-development. I was never this boring ever. I have suddenly become away from myself. I feel, I am a drone and just doing what is said to be done. I am not able to use my analytical brain which was once appreciated by many. Bottom line is I am saturated; I just travel, do and leave (no thinking involved). And I notice, people around me are all the same.
Deep down inside my conscious screams to me, “VIKAS, you ASS, you are not made for a drones work, you are capable of doing more, and your potential is under-estimated by none other than YOU, YOURSELF. YOU have to wake up”
Few years back and similar voice came to me and I met a philosophic consultant thru one my long time acquaintances. He told me if you feel that you are doing a drone’s job, then you, yourself are responsible for it. You have to innovate the way you do things, the way you handle situations and the way you deal with people. If you think you are so highly gifted with intellect, then prove it in your existing job. I took that advice and implemented it. I was extremely successful in my job then, was promoted and also appreciated. There have been many things which played catalyst to my success.
A. Seniors who always had time to listen to me, if I had something to say.
B. An environment, where you were given a chance to justify and time to prove your own beta (R&D was always promoted at each level)
C. An accurate performance measurement system, which was made to motivate the team to achieve and not to cut costs
These things I had never noticed till the time I got frustrated of my job. It was later after I met the philosophic consultant, that I scrutinized everything I do, in order to be innovative.
I always knew, someday this strategy would help get over such a frustration again. That was a good experience, which cannot be mentioned in a resume.
Years later, I am again in a similar situation (soup) but today the bowl of responsibilities is bigger. I thought since the bowl is big, I have more opportunities to innovate. But to my grief, I have still not found those catalytic factors, which would again ignite the spark in me.
Waiting for the catalyst……
Vikas
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