Marriage – the union

We have often heard that marriages are made in heaven and they are the union of two souls etc. etc. But my question to myself is “Is it really so?”.... I disbelieve or rather contradict the statement of Marriages made in heaven or they being the union of two souls.

Marriage in my understanding is a union of two different worlds. Let me explain....
The groom’s side and the bride’s side even if they belong to same caste, community , religion, region etc. no matter how many similarities they possess, there always exists a difference in attitudes, behavior, motives, etc. among the two uniting families. So I simply put it as a union of two different worlds. There is always a belief that the bride has to adjust with the groom’s family, but along with it, also is seen the reverse. In order to make the bride comfortable, the groom is usually seen adapting with the in-laws. So the bride as well as the groom; both with equal amount of efforts, try to adapt to each other’s world.

Even the families adapt to each other’s behavior.  The first few meetings, rather I should say, all the meetings before the marriage and a few meetings after that the behavior of both the sides is usually very neutral. Both sides want to make each other feel comfortable and behave in a much polished manner. I do not say that they fake their behaviors, but they usually reflect their best side.
And later, ....... it is like eating Punjabi samosa with Coconut chutney. It tastes all the more better.
Both worlds get to know each other, they share their experiences, feelings, beliefs and many more things. There would be some conflicts but also a lot more love among them. And a lot of advice to the nuptials.

If we talk about the union of two souls, there are many such examples in the world and also in the Indian perspective wherein the outcome of such a union has not been very fruitful. I think the statement is self explanatory. Whereas, there are many more to prove this statement wrong.

I believe that, yes it is a union of two souls. When two very different people decide to spend their life together, to support and love each other forever, then that is the first sign which shows that two parts of a magnet will always attract each other in the right manner. The argument which arises here is; then what is wrong with those marriages which are dependent on compromise or do not last long. My answer to them is, these are not marriages; but are simple, mutually beneficial and symbiotic relationship between two individuals, who often separate or compromise when they feel their need or want is not being fulfilled in the right manner. Be it emotional, financial or physical need. Marriage as said earlier being a union of two soul is more than just a symbiotic relation. It is a decision to be together, without any benefits, wants or conditions attached. No hidden or latent conditions either.

There is no force, no compulsion, no age restriction in a marriage.
It is a common scenario that girls and now a days even guys are getting married because of a simple reason   i.e.  “Age”. I mean, what the f**k, what if the person whom he or she is being tied up to is not the proper  match. Then life would be just a compromise. Also a common scenario is, girls seeking for guys with fat salaries, big degrees, secured job etc. etc. So what do you think you are doing, an investment. Being rational is not bad, everyone has the right to think about his or her own future. But, HELLO, marriage is not the share market, wherein you analyze the company's balance sheets, PE ratio etc. etc. and then decide.

Why the hell do you want to secure your future at the cost of your spouse. Why the hell can't you secure your future on your own and let marriage happen without any condition. I have seen things like, a BA pass girl, seeking for MBA or CA boy, and then also getting married to one, only to secure her future. Where is the love in that? And by the way madam, why can’t you secure your future, on your own?

Even worse is guys getting big degrees, only for huge dowry and good girl as an additional feature. Mind it girl or the wife merely being an additional feature. You want money, you have the degree, why can’t you work hard and earn it on your own? Why do you want to loot the poor girl’s father.

Marriage in these cases is no marriage, but merely an investment on life. Like a fixed deposits or a mutual fund, with guaranteed returns.

The definition of marriage is merely, no conditions attached. You don’t get married, merely because, you suck in life right , then why not get some support and a lead a better life.

Real marriages are made in heaven and they are really a union of two souls. It is also about taking the entire family- the two worlds together.

When you realize that there is someone with whom you want to be with, but there is no reason that you should be with him or her….. then that is the sign …. Marriage is on cards for you.

By,

Vikas Yadav.